HEY GURL GOBBLE!!!!!

OMG!!! its that time of year again! it already THANKSGIVING!!!

Im happy to report that i have alot to be happy for this year. im in better shape than i was last year, im working on projects im excited for, and most of all, ive met some AMAZING people this year. even though i dont live on capitol hill anymore, i still call it home. I guess i cant really complain, as long as im surrounded with good people, good times, and good tranny porn. im as happy as a homo shopping for handbags.

HOWEVER! the down side of this holiday is that its BONQUISHAS BIRTH DAY!!!! and im letting my inner fat betch not just eat.... but FEED!!! i can see her now, sitting in front of the turkey while its deep frying, moaning and rubbing her nipples.

WANNA SEE BONQUISHA'S HAPPY DANCE!!!!?



I KNOW RIIIIGHT!

meanwhile.....

last night was te night before thanks giving, i decided it would be a good night to introduce and mix a couple of new faces to my gaggle. we all went to mitchos and had a tranny porn fest. adam and steven came over and met the gaggle for the first time, jeff got to meet some new faces, GROAN and daniel were there, and so was JOE! Steven showed us some fabulous card tricks, and tripped us out! it was a good way to start off the holi-gay season. next up is a series of dinner parties... im excited. im thinking about dosing everyone with mushrooms and serving them dinner. this is what it would look like....






HAVE A FABULOUS THANKS GIVING!!!

gobble on them gibblets gurl!

magic business cards!

These are a the business cards i made for my friend Steven Clark.


CLICK ON CARD TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!!!!~!!



this is the front






this is the back







were going to be printing this out on velum, a transparent film

M.CHO vs. the mormons

Im sure you guys are still hearing about the protests and what not all over the news, i just found this fabulous little clip
of or FAVORITE MARGRET CHO singing a song about mormons.






MEANWHILE!!!



what a weekend! IM SUPER DUPER POOPED! some of my favorite highlights from this weekend were; drinking absinthe with the boys, going to LUCID. WATCHING ALOT OF TRANNY PORN!, kickin it with strippers, DANCING MY ASS OFF AT KING CAT! eating cookies with adam and steve! and kicking it with teri and her homo! whew! that was fun, im excited to see whats coming up next on my social calendar. well, im going to bed early, i have to wake up and go work out.

HEY GURL MAGIC!!!

CHECK OUT MY BUDDY STEVEN CLARK he is a master magician here in Seattle, he is fabulous! i just made a video for him, check it out!





and heres another trick, but i diddnt make the video.




ISNT HE JUST A PEACH! and yes, if your interested, he does do events.

ok, boys and girls, im off to save the world.

MMmmm GURL EYE CANDY

"waltz with Bashir"


i loved the use of shadows is this film. it reminds me alot like waking life, scanner darkly, ghost world kinda feel.
what do you think?

I GOT MORE EYE CANDY FOR YA!

Photographer Jason Rowan makes a spectacular "Return to Key West" for an all-new gay travel project commissioned by the Island House, the Key West Business Guild and the Monroe County Tourist Development Council.



"""The story revolves around three men -- two Rowan alumni ,Levi Poulter ("Four Days in Key West") and Scott Wilson ("Room 103"), along with Ryan Findlay, whom you may remember from Bruce Weber shots and Tommy Hilfiger campaigns in the 1990s. Findlay does landscape architecture in Los Angeles now, but came out of retirement just for this assignment -- and it looks like it was well worth the effort. Here are some highlights. """" (FROM KENNETH WALSH BLOG)

pssssst....... (i know you were looking for some REAL eye candy, so CLICK HERE and thank me later. (.^_^.)
*CLIPS FROM THE PROJECT RETURN TO KEY WEST*

MMmmm GURL EAR CANDY!

NELLY FURTADO vs. MIKA

QUEEN vs QUEEN!!! LOVES IT GUUURL!

and yes.... i heard it first on perez.

HEY GURL! WTF ARE YOU WEARING????

THEY CALL IT A BUEATY MASK?!?


if i walked on a girl wearing that mask i would FREAK THE EF OUT! come on toshi! COME OAREN! (vermelion pleasure night ref.)
i grew up watching scary ass movies, with axe murders, psycos on mission, and JASON hacking camper up into little bits....

speaking of JASON in a beauty mask hacking people up.......

do you remember KELLY ROWALND (destinys child) was in the movie FREDDY VS JASON?

watch this clip and try to spot the beauty mask.......



im about ready for bed, but this BOOKASHADE mix is A-MAY-ZING!!!

NEW FRENCH PUSSY ART ATTACK

click on the pic to see THE WHOLE THING!


for those of you who dont know, "FRENCH PUSSY" is a verry talented graphic designer.
this is his latest piece from his expansive art collection.
THANK YOU TYTY FOR THE FABULOUS NEW ART! GOOD WORK BUDDY!

and speaking of BRITNEY!!
she is SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT!!! with her new MTV special.
WHERE WE GET TO HEAR IT STRAIGHT FROM POTATO FACE HERSELF!

DREAM MACHINE

Hey gurl Hey!!

MARK FRINA IS THE SHIT!
every thing i think of HOUSE MUSIC 2 things pop into my head right away.
1. -TERI-!!!!!!<3 U GURL!!!
AND
2. MARK FRINA!!!

THIS IS MY IDEAL CHILL OUT, LAZY SUNDAY KINDA SONG! I HOE YOU LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I DO!

"dream machine is one of my favorite songs! and i want to share it with you!!! THIS IS A BAD ASS SMOKING SONG!!!!
AND BELOW THIS. IM POSTING THE LYRICS! LETS HAVE A SING ALONG!!! ITS FUN!!!



-DREAM MACHINE-
what are you thinking of
what are you doing
what do you think you can do
what you are
what you do
looking out at
ripples on the dance floor
what do you mean
is what you get
did you forget to know
what the end is
to begin
clearing
looking out
at ripples on the dance floor

dream machine
did you get
everything you asked for
dream machine
rattlesnake
a charm on the dance floor

love's rage
broken page
electric lights
and glass bone nights
electric lines run
through your minds
distractions with radio contraptions
pipe ashes
night glasses
tick tock
hear the wind lick
the window
ignited
you're invited
grow wings
sprouting from the backbone

dream machine
mister jones
you don't know what you came for
dream machine
rattlesnake
a charm on the dance floor

we are like those two
mirrors
steaming in the rain
we are those two
lovers
holding each other's hands
dream
with me
rattlesnake
a charm on the dance floor

(.^_^.)
WHAT CHA THINK? LEAVE COMMENTS!!!

CIAO!

HEY GURL BOYZONE! FAG-OUT-NA!

Hello my fellow homos,

I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU TO FAG OUT ON TODAY!!!!

Have you ever heard of the boy band BOYZONE? there HUGE in europe and asia. one of there most popular songs is no matter what. heres the video, and yes... THE LEAD SINGER SINGER IS UBER HOT!



SINCE YOU TUBE WONT LET ME POST THE VIDEOS HERE, CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO "NO MATTER WHAT"

This boyband started in the 90s and continue to make music! they came out with a new album this year.




BOYZONE JUST RELEASED ONE OF THER NEW MUSIC VIDEOS "BETTER" i just watched it, and i agree, its WAY BETTER!! the boys are thinking out side the box and ALLOWING A LOVE SONG MUSIC VIDEO WITH TWO MEN AS LOVE INTERESTS!!!! for any band this is a major leap forward. in their career they have sold over 20 million records!! with a fan base like that, this "gay" music video seems like a huge risk. but guess what!.... PEOPLE ARE LOVING IT!!! GO TEAM!!! and without further delay.....

(click on link below)

ANY GUESSES WHOS THE GAY ONE IS?

here is the video "BETTER" ENJOY my little cupcakeS, ENJOY!!



WASNT THAT FUN!

about 1/2 way through the video i found myself starting to GUSH!! LE SIGH!!!!!

GO TEAM GLITTER!!!!!

HEY GURL WIENER!

I was on the way home this morning when i spy with my queer eye the
BIGGEST WIENER IVE EVER SEEN! OMFG ITS THE MOTHER EF-IN..........

O-S-C-A-R
M-A-Y-E-R
WIENER MOBILE!!!


it was parked in seatac out of all places. this GIANT TUBE STEAK made my morning more interesting. did you know the licence plate read B-O-L-O-G-N-A. ?

YOU thing I GET EXCITED FOR THE WIENER MOBILE?... CHECK OUT THIS NERD....



OH NO HE DIDDNT JUST SAY "GO BABY GO" TO A GIANT METAL HOTDOG! ohh yes...HE DID! (dork) (hahahahaha)

well im off to poi practice, and then im playing with the sewing machine! (yay!)

ill post something for you to fag out on later.

I HEART WIENERS! i want to put this on a shirt with this as the logo....




and since were on a wiener kick..........
click on the link if you
WANNA SEE REALLY BAD PICTURE OF ME??? IM HIGH ON MUSHROOMS, WEARING AN AFRO WIG WHILE EATING A SAUSAGE!

Hey Gurl UNITARD!

UMMM, did Justin Timberlak just call himself a "HOT DANCE BISCUIT"?

ohh hell to the no!



I LOVE BEYONCE!

speaking of divas, i miss the show BEING BOBBY BROWN. i loved LOVED LOOOOVED crazy whitney! this is my favorite moment of the whole series...



and for your daily dose of fagging out, here is GRACE JONES IN A 1986interview with DAVID LETTERMAN!



ohh gurl, you know i love me them crazies!


and there ya goo. mondays are boring. im heading to belltown to go cook. if you see me, holla at yo guuurl!

FRENCH PUSSY RETURNS!

HEY GURL HEY!

SOOO>>>

i just got off the Phone with TYLER aka "THE ORIGINAL FRENCH PUSSY!" and he is going to be back in less than 30 days!!!!


JUST IN TIME FOR NEW YEARS!
THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS!!!

TyTy is my little BETCH oops, i mean HES MY LITTLE BABY!! hes been rotting away in the butthole of DENVER for the past FEW MONTHS!!!! and i cant wait untill he gets back in town. HES GOING TO BE HERE FOR A WEEK!
my gaggle has been incomplete since he left!



WHEN Tyler gets here, believe me when i say ITS GOING TO BE AN EPIC WEEK / NEW YEARS!! and for those of you lucky enough
to be joining us for the series or parties were going to be throwing, you in for ONE HELL OF A FABULOUS TIME!



WERE GONNA GET THAT FRENCH PUSSY GURRRLLL!!! AND SMEAR IT ALL OVER THIS TRANNY OF A TOWN!!

HEY GURL, IM SOAKING WET!!

Trouser snake a little dry? heres a little tid-bit to get your gay ass through the day!



YOU BETTA BE FAGGING OUT!!

HEY GURL WANDA!

did you know Wanda Sykes is a homo?



BUT did you also know how funny she is?

OMG! WO0O0O0W! LOOK AT ALL THE PURDY PICTURES!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS ART CAME FROM, BUT IM MCLOVIN IT! foe real real!

CICK ON THE PICTURE TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!

ENJOY!

HEY GURL PLUCK YOUR TWANGER!

OK, so ive posted alot of WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT (WTF) SCHMERDS(stuff and words) before, BUT THIS REALLY TAKES THE CAKE!

This Delicious clip came from a 70s TV show called RAINBOW.



"WHISKEY TWANGER FOXTROT!" WTF is right gurl!

MEANWHILE..... here is something for you to FAG OUT ON NA!!!, did you know that DUCKS and BUNNYS snore? AWWWW FOR KUYTE!





Today is sunday! SUNday!! SUNDAY!!!! yesterday was the PROP 8 RALLY!! im waiting for pics to come in so i can post em!

MEANWHILE!... MY LITTLE BROTHER COMES UP TO ME AND TOLD ME A NEW CATCH PHRASE! i swear hes a little non-gay cabon copy of me! hes hilarious! anywho.... HE SAID" I WASNT MACKIN ON THAT GIRL, I WAS JUST GETTIN SOME POON POINTS!" WTF ARE POON PINTS? whatever they are, i like the phrase. (.^_^.)

well tonight im going to dinner party. ill put up pics (if there funny).

i hope you all have a fabulous lazy sunday! and remember PLUCK YOUR TWANGER!

HEY GURL ROCCO!

For those of you who know my alter ego inner fat gurl BONQUISHA! her and i finally agreed on something to EAT!
His name is ROCCO DISPERITO!






hes my equivalent to cooking as CHER is to my music. THATS RIIIGHT!

i would just love to batter him up and tear a his thighs and legs like a bucket of KFC! IAM GIT THAT FRENCH PUSSY GIIRR!!.......

woah, damn! chill out bonquisha!

anywho, lets see him in action!!.... in the kitchen!




and did you know he was on DANCING WITH THE STARS!

here is his interview on jimmy.





MMKKAAAAY!
i know i just had lunch, but im hungry again! YA KNOW WHAT IM SAAAYIN?!

if i ever get to meet him, theres so much i want to say! like....

"you can serve me up any way you want baby!"

"my thighs taste like fine prosciutto"

"i want to drizzle your sauce all over my salad"

" ill be your thanks giving turkey, as long as you stuff me right, and put me in your hot box for 6-7 hours!"

"you should try my gravy"

"you can stick more than i fork in me... *wink"

" im a 10 course meal, please have a seat on my face"

"nice meat balls"

"i wish i was a fish, so you can FIL-LAY- ME"

or ill just wink seductively and say " creme fresh" over and over and over again.

WHEW, i need a wetnap.

SAY WHAT!!!!

i was spacing out online and i found this clip of DAVID ALAN GREERE as "peanut" the clip explains itsself, BUT LISTEN SUPER SUPER (HA! I DID IT AGAIN JOEY!) ahem.. LISTEN TO WHAT THE CRAZY BETCH SAYS AT 2:30!!!



YEAHHSSS!!! i told you, "HEY GURL HEY!" is spreading through the gays like chlamydia in the 80s! why do you think it was called FIRE ISLAND!

yay!

HEY GURL SNUGGIE!!

Does this look like a cult robe to you? the guy looks like Merlin dipped in kool-aid! WTF?

it looks like a good idea, its warm and serves a function. but LOOK AT IT! REALLY!!??!!
if you buy one, dont drink the PUNCH!!

HEY GURL OMG!

OMG blog is "SUPER SUPER!!" (lmao, joey! HA!) anywho, i have some juicy tid bits for you to nibble on today. im not really focused on anything today due to my chinese food hangover from hanging out with joey, nicola, and jeff-ee. speaking of which, have you guys ever been down to honey court for the honey walnut prawns?



i think these delicious pieces of deep fried heaven are well worth the heart attack
( BONQUISHA SAYS: "its coated in a mayonnaise dressing! YEAHHSS!!!")

here's something for you to fag out on!!
a WHISTLING PUPPY!!!


that was one cute puppy, but not as cute as my DOLCHE!

she is such a sweet doggie!
(untill she shits somewhere i cant see and i find her land mines hours later, then shes a lil' BETCH!)

and since were on the topic of shitting pets, did you know BARBIE doll herself picks up poopies? look for yourself!







MEANWHILE!.... times are tough, i dont trust banks, EXCEPT THIS ONE!!


HELL YEAH! now thats a SPANK BANK!
sign me up! i have deposits to make!!

on a side note, i miss the sunshine. more on that later. kisses!

HEY GURL WEED!!!

I watched WAAYYYYY to much Tranny PORN yesterday! so i woke up this morning with tranny porn on my mind. so i decided t make a post dedicated to "Tranny Porn"

Heres a clip of Snoop DoG himself, talking about the TV show WEEDS and i love the different names he gives for cronic.



Heres is Katt Williams talking about weed in one of his stand ups.



AND MY FAVORITE CLIP!!..... ITS from the news, it explains itself, you HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! now, thats funny!

and for those of you smoking pot during the election, it was noticed on the news!!



OK, you homo, i know your expecting to see something a little more gay, so here you go! Hunter Parrish aka super hottie from WEEDS NUDE! muhahahaha!



ok, you can stop drooling now. zip up your pants, and have a nice day!

HEY GURL GAY TEST!!

wanna find out if your "straight" friend is gay or not? try the GAY TEST!



OMG waaao! i havent seen a test this HARD since my SAT's! tehehe. (.^_^.)


WOAH DAMN! what a fun weekend!! Teri came into town, and we had a blast! for those of you who havent met her yet, she is AMAZING!! we had a WWW.com party. if you dont what that is, that means you wernt there. ^_^. heres a pic of teris fam and i kicking it in agrestic!



OH, good times in AGRESTIC!

WHT THE EF IS A MOOSE KNUCKLE?

HEY GURL HEY!

It turns out that my evil twin sister (other gay tristan) and i find the same things funny! here is a couple of things from his myspace i found soo funny, i almost mis-carried!





and for those of you wonder what the hell a MOOSEKNUCKLE IS....



HAHAHAHAHA!!

and if you want to real good belly laugh, watch me on a roller coaster. one of my girl friends found it so funny, she laughed for almost 15 min straight! while watching it on repeat! so, please make sure you baldder and bowles are empty. ENJOY!

HEY GURL GOURD!!!!

HEY GURL PUMPKINS!!!

OK, so here is the step by step method i use to make fabulous pumpkins!!

STEP ONE!

OPEN THE GOURD! and drink!!!!



STEP 2!

GET UP IN DEM GUTS!!!! and PLAY WITH THEM GUTS!! and DRINK!!









STEP 3!!

PHOTOSHOP PLAYING WITH THEM GUTS!! WHILE DRINKING!!!






STEP 4!! DRINK AND THINK!!!

THINK OF LAST YEARS PUMPKIN DESIGN AND THINK OF A MORE FABULOUS ONE! LAST YEAR I MADE A CHANEL PUMPKIN,

THIS YEAR ITS GOING TO BE A HEY GURL PUMPKIN!!

STEP 5!

GRAB A KNIFE AND CUT THE BETCH!!!! "PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN!!!"



STEP 6!

then put a candle in it and your done!!!! AND HAVE YOUR SELF A VICTORY DRINK!!!








and there ya go! thats how you make gay ass gourds!!!

WISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

hey gurl die!?

i came across this creepy video of Japanese school girls pretending to cut their wrists! WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT!

3worlds fire expo!!!

this is a new dream of mine, to perform at a fire competition someday. after watching these guys burn, i realize, i have alot to learn, and that makes me excited!! watch out for the NO HAND moves the staff spinner does, and waach the poi spinner closely, he has some super sick spins and turns! enjoy the video, my fellow pyros!

TOO MANY TRISTANS!!!!!

HEY GURL CLONE!!!!

WOAH DAMN!!! what an interesting weekend!! friday night was HALLOWEEN! i went to freaknight with the gang and had an AMAZING time!! MOBY was incredible! his set had hella energy, and super sick groovy electro beats! i stayed with the poi spinners most of the time. i spun for 2 hours straight with some flo-toys durig moby.

i was sooo sweaty! at one point there was a huge circle of people around me, i would say literally about 100 people watching me glowstick BLINDFOLDED!!! that made my party! everyone had a good time!



SATURDAY night the lovely jeni threw a circus themed party in her giant loft apartment. and GET THIS!..... not 1 not 2 but 3 TRISTAN's IN THE SAME ROOM! WTF! isnt this a sign of the apocolypse? one tristan was gay the other was straight. the gay one and i have SOOO much in common! it was weird, now hes my DOPPLEGANGER!! THE straight one was super nice and both tristans were super cute! so that makes 4 tristans,3 gay, one straight in seattle! i google image searched my name and found this nifty logo!



this logo comes from a high fashion website http://www.tristanstyle.com/


JENI's party was AWESOME! there must have been like 70ish people in her beautifull loft! i spun fire iside her lving room! thats how massive it is! i have some pics from the party, ill put them up later. it was a fabulous weeeknd.