this poem is dedicated to all the people who make beautiful music. i wrote this one after i realized that music is intangible, but somehow it makes me feel alive. we are all our own song, dancing to our own rhythm, maing our own beats with our hearts. we are all music machines, have you ever heard a heartbeat that isnt yours? listen to each other. enjoy.
singers song writers all heroic poets. dream is destiny i heard somewhere before. these sounds move from air and muscles to shells called people. floating through intangable devices like time and love. you speak. and i listen. hit a note to touch my soul. your not real, but somehow invisible make me feel alive.
this picture is called "the DJ" its an abstract photo. can you see the "dj"?
im up late, i cant sleep. im going through old photos and i came across some of my former lover. i had a weird rush of emotions and so then i channeled my emotions and wrote a love song. when you read this, i want you to read it one line at a time, very slowly, try to relate to each word grouping to a time where you felt lonely and missed someone. this isnt exactly a love some per sey, its just missing an old friend, someone who gets you in a way no one else does. enjoy.
its this silence, or maybe its the darkness theres to much time between us to many hearts behind us i wish it wasnt over
remembering that summer morning when the light was perfect remember what you told me you wispered, i was beautifull i still believe you this is all the matters.
with old photos your never going to age first loves never do close my eyes i can hear your voice telling me its ok i hold myself a little tighter
my lips stained with wine heavy breathe, misty eyes talking to pictures they look so happy telling me i cant sleep alone again. somethings telling me your doing the same.
todays topic is brought to you by the letter -F-, BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO -*F*vCk-!
I went to go visit the bone zone today with a new buddy today. the sex was hotter than usual. and i think it was because I was FEELING sexy. my sex life has been on an upward swing the past few weeks, maybe its because ive been taking better care of myself? . someone said i had sex appeal today, and it really boosted my confidence. and i thought to myself, why dont gay men give out more compliments? were always so busy talking about ourselves. If we all took a sec to compliment a buddy on something, it might make someones day. it sure made mine. and if we keep surrounding ourselves with this positive sexy energy, it can give us more confidence, and make us take better care of ourselves. dont you agree? i always believed that kindness make the world go round. Men should be more aware of there sexuality, I like to think people who are comfortable in their own skin and who are knowledgeable about sex have the most sex appeal. what are your thoughts on sex appeal and sexuality?
Meanwhile....
im still on my quarterlife crisis! i cant wait untill this weekend, im going up to bellingham, to be with my GROAN! maybe this is what i need, a nice relaxing weekend to getaway, and to re-focus. I hope everyones doing well, and if you have a sec, check out my new myspace page.
check this betch out. watchout for the sick ass chicken arm goodness at 1:46 and again and 2:33. this clip is from an itiliam tv show. god, i miss the 80s! enjoy!
swedish homos dancing with leaves. doesent this seem like a intro to a bad porno?
and i found this picture today, i thought it was neat. its Psyce revive by Antonio Canova 1793.
I dont realy have much to say today. i had a good weekend, had fun with joey, helped ryan moved, his parents think im a slut. i have a date later this week. yay. im embarrased by bad tippers at chapel. oh i just want to vent about that for a sec. OK! so if your with a large group of friends drinking at a bar, which your friend are also the bar tenders. DONT TAKE EVERYONES CASH FOR THE BILL, PUT IT ON YOUR CARD, AND NOT GIVE A FUCKING TIP!!! seriously, why would someone do something that ef-d up? so needless to say, im embarrassed. and i learned my lesson. so i think im going to steer away form my FAVORITE bar, until i dont feel so damn guilty. *le sigh, there goes my hommie hookup at chapel. *gir. MEANWHILE! in other news. the job hunt isnt looking so well. im unemployed, a felon, 24!, living at home, BROKE, and starting to feel a little lonely. i hate the fall, the cold quiet air makes me sad.
Hey gurl hey! its sunday! and i end my week in a not so typical way. today woke up and was alone at home, so i ate half a water melon and watched cartoons. went to costco, then went to joeys for sunday night dinner. after a few of nicolas strong ass margaritas, we sit around and cook. at the dinner table was joey, wife nicola, and her parents anna and sam, also nicolas brother rob and his friend big black guy ( i forgot his name) dinner was fabulous but the conversation was kinda boring. so i chat about jail, and the next thing ya know, were talking about beastality, rim jobs, and guys in eneumclaw getting banged by a horse!! and keep in mind im eating dinner with my token white people family. it was freaking funny as hell. especially when anna asked what a rim job was. and she turned red when i explained that i wasnt talking about the salt on the rim of her margarita glass. lol omg! after dinner, came more drinking, then we played the game thats kinda like sorry, but you use marbles. FYI its called marbles. it was a riot! i came in 2nd, we were all shouting and getting emotional. i havent had that much fun playing a board game since i was a kid! what a nice was to end a crazy past 2 weeks.
On a side note:
im trying out for pure cirkus this week! its a modern day freakshow. im excited. heres a video about this fire troupe i found on youtube. im useing it as inspiration.
Hello all my GLBTAQROTFLWTFBBQ brother and sistas! do i have a story for you! so i meet up with an old friend of mine i havent seen in a year. we meet up at starbucks for coffee. and MY OH MY old boi here has changed! he used to be all pale and stonerish, typical shaggy haircut. BUT now hes 6ft tall, 19, has a tan, short emo brown hair cut, and he now has a 6 pack. anywho, one thing leads to another, and that thing usually leads to the bone zone. (sorry if this following part is to graphic, but its funny) we mess around and trade BJs and such. I havent came in 4 days, and i have alot of juice backed up. and he wants me to cum in his mouth, BUT as i cum, he shoves my cock all the way down his throat and tries to swallow it all, he gages, and does this sneeze, gag, thingy. then i watch AS MY CUM SHOOTS OUT OF HIS NOSE!! and rests on his chest. W-T-F? after that we laughed it off. hes a good guy, i just wish he diddn't have a girlfriend.
meanwhile, i helped ryan move out of his place this weeknd. AGAIN! lol. danced on jordans stripper pole, FINALLY got to hangout with joe. smoked with string bean. TMRW is goldfrap!! super jazzed about that show!!
im going running, its the last nice day of summer!!!
so my plan yesterday (Thursday) was to lie low and chill out. LOL!, yeah, riiight! i spent the morning at home, went to a bbq in the afternoon with some of the federal way boys. p.s. chad is looking fuckin fierce! you go gurl!. one drink leads to another, and another, and another and one thing leds to another, and next thing you know... (in ryans words) " did you put your pee pee in his bum bum?" and yes, yes i did. in ALL of them! it was an interesting was to start my weekend. i went up the city around sunset time. spun poi with hot ryan and janelle. there learning fast! im really excited to see how good they get by freaknight! then i find myself at ryans drinking wine with him and jordan. we were all gurlin it up like we usually do, talkin about boys and jamin out to TLC. then our tipsy asses are off to PURR. i run into a few boys i haven't seen in a while. then i felt like dancing. on our way to R-place i get a visit from the "tranny porn" store. it was an amazing tranny porn session. ryan and i are EFFED UP! we hit the floor breakin bitches off! imhella drunk and blazed, and who do i run into? my cousin!! so i broke her off in a dance off! green bean was there, i think i slappedjordie for ditching out at chapel last weekend, i got hit of by a few boys dancing, it felt nice (.^_^.) after dancing up a storm, we head down to this pizza place by the baltic room, its a late nite pizza place. we walk into the narrow well lit, Italian looking pizzeria, music is bangin. and i dont know how the conversation came up, but the next thing i know, jordan is changing the music to, of course TLC. were singing along, two older fattter homos come in and order pizza too. there probably enjoying the craziness going on. were shouting and yelling, and just being all kinds of hot messyness. the pizza guy asks jordan if he wants to sing, and gives jordan a mike! and a kereoke song book! 2 min later, ryan has a video clip of jordan and i singing whitneyhouston, drunk, in a pizzaria, with two confused mos in the background. after laughing hella, the other two mos got there pizza before we did, and we clearly got there first. so i pointed at the fatter one and said in my drunken schmerds, "YOOHFUKENBETCHE!!" and then i laugh so hard i almost fall off of my stool. after that episode, we swing by chapel to hit on roach and squeeze mitcho goodnight. on the walk back to ryans we come across some drying cement roped off with keep off signs and red plastic rope off tape. Jordan though it was a finish line! he doesn't know its not the break away kinda tape. so hes running and draging these large keep off sings behind him, across the ground making all kinds of noise! lucky for us the cement was already dry. we make a quick retreat back to ryans. we first watch a little tranny porn, and then wonder show zen! the only thing i remember is a bunch of kids eating god. " wtf?". we pass out and wake up the next morning asking alot of questions and sending out damage control text messages making sure we still we still have friends. oh gurl what a night! speaking of which, im going to hakunamatata tonight! its going to be meyhem!
ON a side note! do you remember that gay zombie movie OTTO aka UP WITH DEAD PEOPLE. if you dont, this might jog your memory.
have a nice day gurl, i heard its going to be like 80! YEAAAHHSSS!!!!
are you efin serious? i just spent the past hour writing about jail, and recaping my weekend, and my computer lost it all!!! DAMN GURL DAMN! so instead of going into detail about everything ill just give you the short and sweet version in a glob of schmerds. (exactly).
Thursday- drinks at Julia's with the boys, i went up a size with my lobes. dancing at 80s night with joe and ryan surrounded by tall ugly tyranny's in tragic dresses. i saw Cher, she sang and danced to turn back time. some director wants her to be cat woman, i went numb from the good news. speaking of divas, did you see old potato face at the VMAs? bitch is lookin fierce! somewhere in Denverthere is a little homo named tyler getting his chubby off to the fact that BRITNEY isback! Friday- dinner party at joeys with wife Nicola and Jeff. Nicolas margaritas were way to strong. but delicious. joey got new gay ass truck. and Nicola got a new car too. i think it was a focus. dinner was a pork roast stuffed with olive tapenade, and on the side was rosemary and feta mashed potatoes. after that i went back to Seattle, went out for drinks, got black out drunk and threw up scotch, tequila, and several other drinks into Ryan's toilet. Saturday- at night we went out to chapel for confessions. it was also Darius b-day. i got him HELLA blunt wraps! which im sure are half gone by now! all the boys came out! at one point i counted 20 people large, not including our wonderful bartender friends there. Ryan and i made out with the same guy, he was 6ft6! twinky cutie. we almost tagged teamed that green bean. we went back to d's, hot ryan and i teamed up for a light show extravaganza! then when we left, i got into a fight with joe. it was drunk mess. then back to ryans to drink water and vomit. FUN! SUNDAY- was a chill day. my highlight was spinning poi in the park with janell and ryan, and smoking so much pot i totally forgot what i was doing every 5 seconds. it felt like summer still to me. We went to ezells for chicken, it was (oprah voice) AAAHHMAAAZING!!! later that night we were at joes chillin, it was so nice just to be with my 2 best friends, smokin, chillin, i wish mitch was there and my circle would be complete. Monday- ryan ditched work to hang out with the favorite mo'. we did what we did best, sit around in our undies, smoke untill were blind, and i cook something delicious.
OK, so thats what i did this weekend,, i dont think it all happened in that order, ya know how it is! all my days just blend into a beautiful orgy of music, smoke and laughter. and then it hits me... i think to myself, how lucky i am. no, not lucky..., blessed. yeah thats it, i feel blessed. i have an accepting family i love, and they understand me. my friends and fabulous, they make me, me. like my mantra says " i am a collection of everything" and its true. i am direct reflection of all the good in my life, and the good i find in my friends, and i have nothing but love to give. the only aspect of life im lacking at is job and money. so i need to focus and get a job and start being more responsible. not just so i can play "grown up" i want to be able to enjoy my amazing life more. i hate how money controls your lifestyle, so i try my best to enjoy everything around me all the time. so as a favor to myself, im going to try and be smarter about my money. anywho thats all for now, sleep well and dream well.
SIDENOTES----- -I like posh's new do! -brit brit is working it! -velvet code looks like goth fags 80s rejects who sing like girls. -this blog scares me- http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/homicidereport/ - QUOTE " im sorry what did you say?, i was too busy thinking about tranny porn."-me
right! ME!! in JAIL!! oh gurl do i have a story for you!! i just spent that last 23 days in Snohomish county jail!! that'sWTF!! its all over and done with now, thank god! im going to be putting my whole ordeal in a mini series of short stories so you read it like a short story, not just me rambling. meanwhile! Ive been out of jail for about a day now, yesterday was FAAABULOUS! jeff came to pick me up, we went to the pike market, picked up Mitch and went out for sushi. i went to go suck up at work. went to visit hot Ryan and snag a gelato, (thanks Ryan!) went to Julia's for happy hour the boys, and i got to see Groan (Ryan's) gimp arm! then after a few, i got my ears gauged up a size, went to kick it ryans. MEXICAN BUFFET was soon to follow. hahaha, oh gurl it was de-li-cious!! i kept on thinking about all the friends i made in jail, and what they were up to, and what they were eating..... I just kept on thinking how lucky i am to be surrounded by my loving friends, and the small seemingly insignificant freedoms we forget surrounding us all day and every day. life is good. pure and simple. i cant complain. i give love, i get love, its not the meaning of life, but its the essence of living. the simple exchange of being needed and needing, it happens all around you, but do we really take the time to understand, respect and appreciate this simple interaction between each other? needless to say lifes like a box of chocolates, you share it untill its gone.
Im a 24 year old fire spinning homo in seattle. I love electronic music and really gay things.
Keep up to date with whats going on in my little crazy world.
this is the blog homos go to fag-out!
